It’s a dirty word. It thrives in secrecy and denial. It can present as fear, anger, laziness, procrastination, or indecisiveness. It lurks in the shadows. It speaks in silent whispers of illusion, delusion, and deceit. It’s heavy, energy-draining, unforgiving, and uncompromising in its dedication to destroy you.
What is this monster I speak of?
It’s called shame… toxic shame, to be exact. It is toxic because it slowly and quietly destroys contentment, serenity, and fulfillment.
This may sound extreme and over the top.
But it’s true… toxic shame is a silent killer of dreams, creativity, and joy.
It can warp and pervert your mind into thinking and acting like you are worthless. It’s a sneaky little f@%!r!
It can lead you down a path of frustration, futility and despair. At one point in my life I thought there was no hope, but that was ‘toxic shame’ talking.
I now know that there is hope. There is an antidote.
What is it?
It’s simple.
Are you ready for it?
Are you prepared for the possibility that you could ignore this antidote?
Ok. Good.
Here goes….
The antidote is… the TRUTH.
Yes, the truth.
But knowing this is not enough at times. Your head can understand this intellectually, but the rest of your body could be rejecting/resisting it as you read these words. In fact, you could have read this somewhere else before and be rolling your eyes and silently saying, ‘Ah not this again!’
When working with people I don’t help them to just set goals and dream big because, quite frankly, they already know how to do that.
My role is to help the mind, body, and heart align and move forward with authentic, energetic action in the direction of their dreams.
My role is to help them free themselves of any toxic shame that is held in the body so that the shackles may be broken.
It is their acknowledgement of their own truth that helps them to do this. I help them to connect to this truth by disarming ‘toxic shame’s’ many armies of protection.
How do I do this?
I simply help them acknowledge the truth of what is being held in the body and help them to connect to it.
If you can feel it you can free it.
I challenge their excuses, their limiting beliefs, their ‘if onlys’, and the victim mentality they may have had for most of their life.
I help them to see that it’s all a ruse created by ‘toxic shame.
It can be released by being held accountable to your own truth and to your own potential.
I used to believe that there is magic and greatness in everyone… that human beings are capable of much more than they have ever thought of. I used to believe that magic was in everyone else EXCEPT me.
This is why I recognise ‘toxic shame’ so well. I’ve given myself a self-proclaimed PhD in breaking free from it.
Is there still some there?
Yes.
Does it control me in the same sneaky way it once did?
No.
It’s taken me 15 years to sit down to write about this. It’s taken me 15 minutes of actual writing time.
Breaking free from the shackles of shame accelerates your personal and professional growth, both directly and indirectly.
It starts with the truth.
At first it will most likely will piss you off and feel somewhat uncomfortable.
But it will set you free.
It will open the doors for your dreams to be chased and reached in earnest.
Your truth is your key to freedom.
Are you ready to break free?